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Submitted on
May 26, 2010
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unrequited, unresponsive
your heart's like a wrist watch
binding my bone.

and i can't think of the
right things to say
when i know that
the way that i say it
will always sound wrong.


and you will always
watch me, and want
to hold me, want to
have me

and i know you want
me to want you,
because i want to.

but i can't.
and that's why
i let you go.

and i can't think
of the words to
say
when sorry
just can't
quite replace
these things
that i've done.

god, i love you.
you're too great
for words to be
said
but i'm not in love
with anyone.

and i really can't
do these things to
you, keeping you
around when one
eye's always down
at my shoes so i
can avoid talking
about these
thoughts.


and i can't
make myself
do what i
wish i could
make myself do
i never thought i'd be able to write about it, think about it, talk about, breathe about it...

but here it is.

fuck my life.

again.

it seems that every comment on my poetry has something about fucking my life...

(tehe... my life's a whooore)



... long story short, i sat myself down, and just had a little mental chat.

i felt like everyday i had to talk myself into accepting that relationship. and it wasn't right, because he deserved better than that, than someone who just wasn't right.

and i decided that that little piece of me had the right idea. and i regret hurting him, rarely do i ever regert hurting people, but that i regret.

it did help me see the larger picture that's me, but i still regret it.
i wouldn't take it back though, because of the understanding i've given myself in my world of self-doubt.

but yes, i regret the hurt i accidentally gave.
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