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a thousand ways to give upevery poem starts about you.
you are what you like to be,
and you are not like me.
i write about your innocence,
i write about your trials,
i write about our common goals,
and your misdemeanor smiles.
but then it all gets twisted around
and it's not worth the point
because it's all about
he's a monster,
he's a creep
and a crawler
it all comes back to him
as much as i would like to go
back to the beginning.
patternyou kill me twelve times over
i'm a coward, not a lover.
there's nothing pretty about me
there's nothing pretty about letting go.
don't pity who i want to be just
because i can't seem to grow.
i can count my ribs but it takes both hands
and a lot of searching, because it seems
i'm never good enough for me
so how could you ever be?
a star is fancy heartbreakshe thought back to when she had assumed her life to be very terrible.
her mother tyrannical, her reflection her biggest comfort and largest source of panic.
mirrors were for smashing and
mouths were for hissing, and
nails were for scratching.
now mirrors were for him;
for watching him shatter them if he saw her
now mouths were for him;
for kissing him when he didn't even remember who she was,
or maybe was just too tired to care
now nails were for him;
for biting, and wondering if he
was going to come home at all,
or if he had really forgotten about her this time
in the time that had passed,
the day or two that he seemed
alive again seemed to slip from her memory
she was tossed into the sea
of his carelessness and indifference
without a life vest.
And at the moments when she
felt particularly alone,
large waves of his ghost-like apathy
would threaten to drown her.
molly loubroken, broken, broken.
all she ever saw were pieces torn apart
laid forgotten to the wayside.
if only she could speak
of all her tradgedies
the wrongs done against her
and the the alabaster ceilings.
he holds her hand
and her hair back,
(when she needs it)
he's afraid to lay in bed with her
until she says she needs him there
but she doesn't know what she
and she writes on his arms
and her lips burn with words
hushed on an acid tongue
he's entranced with all her
ideas and curves and talents and faults
and she's still lost, floating through space
just the begining of a dream
(and he wants to be her end)
she's colorless, but bright
and tasteless in her delight
she's a burning inferno of fire
and ice, and another broken vice.
she's tried to tell him, in that
mixed up way she has of tearing
up her words.
but he won't listen.
but his memory.
ceberushe was once a wicked thing
devoid of a tongue and wings
the fallen angel left to writh
on what had once been her
she left him mute
as if he had spoken
to begin with.
she was his stars, his night,
clashing like the teeth
gnashing from the jaws
better to split and stay together
than combust as one.
burglarcould i talk through windows
could i look through walls?
thieving away my hopes and lies
second hand verses, chords we don't know
we don't understand how to play
but you sing me to sleep anyway
full of dreams that chase my
and it's becoming obvious
that i can't give you up
so, it's getting late,
won't you stay?
there's a key to my heart
and i don't know where it lays
but i bet if you opened your eyes
long enough to look,
it would fit perfectly in your hand
but you don't need it anyway
because you're breaking in
coming in here to steal my
breath and smile
lie of a different sortIt scared her, at first, the way he came back to her with such ferocity. She wasn't used to it at all; usually he was soft with her. She had been half expecting him to turn her away. But he didn't, and she wondered if that should have scared her more. Kisses all down her shoulders, hands grasping at her hips. She leaned back, an odd content feeling coming over her. It was weird; she could never describe it. Just relaxation. Maybe not what you were supposed to feel. She should have been scared, the longer it went on the violence her put on her. But she never was.
She shook her head when he pulled away, like he noticed what he was doing. "I don't care," she said earnestly. And you could see it, she really didn't care. She almost begged him not to stop, Minerva didn't care. Be happy, she thought, even if it's like this. Before, she'd been in a situation like this, and she had retaliated against him like the crack of a whip. Now she just laid in his arms, her only support was Caleb
she's my best friendeveryday i change.
in every pair of eyes i'm different.
they see me as the tease
the bitch, the whore, the heartbreaker.
then they see me as strong
they relay, they think i'll never break
but she sees me the way i am
loud, but silent, strong, but broken.
and she sits with me in the dark when
i make late night phone calls that should
have happened months ago, but no one answers
and then it's quiet again
and i'm back to me
in the silence of the dead of night
things can seem so different
from talk of neon bands and clowny-creepers
(and a little too-cheerful of a ninja)
you can feel that grin coming on
and that's how i know that i belong
don't fight your faceshe's got angel's tangled in her hair
so that it looks like pure lace
and she's got their jaded wings
tattoed across her face
she's got their halos wrapped
around her bloody wrists
and everytime she twists the knife
she leans in for another kiss
her lips are sultry,
stained in red,
and the covers lay ragged
over and under the decrepit bed
things hang under the gallows
like the dead little souls that lost
their lives under the wood
and wander as the forgotten ghosts
she knows they're there
she watches they're hopes
as they die into pains
and forgotten notes
she wishes she could drop
the double bladded knife
and erase away the hurt
of each forgotten strife
but the wrong day
leads to the night
and every wrong word
leads into a fight
and she can't help but win
with the angels on her side
even if they're just trying
to hold on for the ride
Darling, Don't You DareTo the girl who skips dinner,
Because her reflection hurts more than
To the boy who wears sweatshirts
On hot summer days,
Because he doesn’t want his mother to cry over his
To the boy who weeps uncontrollably
Until he falls asleep,
Because it’s the only way to escape into his
To the girl who spends her days in her bedroom,
Because the dark is more peaceful than her
To the child who gets angry,
Because no one understands.
To the teens who self-harm,
To the ones in recovery,
To the ones that just can’t do it anymore…
For the girl who skips meals
And the boy who wears sweatshirts,
For the boy who cries,
The girl who hides,
And the ones who just can’t do it anymore.
You’ve come this far.
Don’t you dare give up on it, now.
I am the daughter of a sailor.There is pure sea water
rushing through my veins
& my vocabulary can be
just as colorful.
how do I begin to tell you
we all have jungles growing
in our chests?-
by human hands?
I like to pretend
it’s Draco residing
in this chest of mine-
clogging my lungs,
I have forgotten
how to write
or anything with a shred
I have no space left within myself
for celestial, fire breathing dragons-
because I realize now
when I look in the mirror,
I do not see my father.
I screamMy scream is loud.
My scream is honest.
My scream is desperate.
My scream is filled with truth.
Why would nobody hear me?
You're Not DepressedDepression isn’t what you think it is.
You’re just sad.
If you and your boyfriend or girlfriend just broke up, you’re not depressed.
If you are longing to be with that one girl or boy, you’re not depressed.
If you really want to meet that one celebrity, you’re not depressed.
If you haven’t gotten a text from any of your friends all day and want to talk to someone, you’re not depressed.
If you cried in the shower last night because you want that guy to be your boyfriend,
Or sat on your bed last night with your face in your hands wanting to be with that one girl,
You’re not depressed.
Until you have hated yourself,
Felt no self-worth,
Felt like you’d never amount to anything
And are useless,
You want to lie in bed all day and do nothing but think,
Think you are never good enough for anyone,
Don’t deserve anyone,
Lost any interest in drawing, writing, reading, singing, etc…
You don’t want to be around anyone, just by
dearly belovedthese days
your name has been slipping
in and out of my rib cage
my heart forgets to beat.
how even after all these months i still
don't want to believe that
you're dead. how during the
first couple of weeks i prayed
to a god i didn't believe in and begged to know
if death tasted sweet to you. how once,
when the monsters in my head
didn't let me sleep, i
wrote you three poems and then
you were a supernova that
lit up my life for
a few radiant moments before,
like all good things in this
you came to an end.
the sinner in me hopes that you have wings now.
but i think that,
most of all,
i hope you no longer
remember what pain
Let me dieGo away
Leave me alone
And let me die
Of this world
I don't want to live
Because there's no light
At the end of this tunnel
So I'll just end my life
Don't try to stop me
And we'll meet again
On the other side
Outside this dark tunnel
I am afraid of monsters like you.Bones and sinew cling
to the part of me
that is not human,
the part of me that
Your lips are ready
to pounce mine when
you lace my neck with
the collar of hope.
It hangs too tightly.
Only GirlsOnly Girls can suffer from weight loss,
can cut and cut until their blood is all gone.
Only girls can cry out their angry emotions,
and watch them pool from their eyes like the raging oceans.
Emotions are qualities reserved for women women only,
without them, what men would bask in their glory.
Only women can abort an unwanted fetus,
when a man mourns his lost child, he's nothing but a bigoted sexist.
Only girls can wear their hair long,
put on cake loads of make up, and twirl their hips to a song.
Strip down in public to your bra and underwear,
only girls will get angry when their objectified by eyes everywhere.
Only girls can swallow the pills,
because boys are never depressed, they only grow ill.
Only a woman can claw at her defenseless husband,
and when he tries to defend himself, he's considered little to nothing.
Cry 'sexual-harassment' in the midst of your workplace,
only girls can get away with this, when nothing was done to them in the first place.
Abuse is impossible if it ha
Wrists.Wrists are not made,
To be cut up by cold blades.
Blood was meant to stay in your veins,
Not to be drained.
From your body,
You're stronger than that,
I know a person can only take,
Until they break.
And you have your doubts,
And when you lay in bed,
The pain is all you think about.
But you're so much more,
Than your heart aches.
So much more,
Than your demons.
Even if you feel,
Like your dying,
And you are through with trying,
Because all you've been doing lately is crying.
I want you to know,
That no, you're not alone.
And you re going to survive.
Please just drop your knife,
Because you're going to,
Make it out alive.
forgive meunrequited, unresponsive
your heart's like a wrist watch
binding my bone.
and i can't think of the
right things to say
when i know that
the way that i say it
will always sound wrong.
and you will always
watch me, and want
to hold me, want to
and i know you want
me to want you,
because i want to.
but i can't.
and that's why
i let you go.
and i can't think
of the words to
that i've done.
god, i love you.
you're too great
for words to be
but i'm not in love
and i really can't
do these things to
you, keeping you
around when one
eye's always down
at my shoes so i
can avoid talking
and i can't
do what i
wish i could
make myself do
i never thought i'd be able to write about it, think about it, talk about, breathe about it...
but here it is.
fuck my life.
it seems that every comment on my poetry has something about fucking my life...
(tehe... my life's a whooore)
... long story short, i sat myself down, and just had a little mental chat.
i felt like everyday i had to talk myself into accepting that relationship. and it wasn't right, because he deserved better than that, than someone who just wasn't right.
and i decided that that little piece of me had the right idea. and i regret hurting him, rarely do i ever regert hurting people, but that i regret.
it did help me see the larger picture that's me, but i still regret it.
i wouldn't take it back though, because of the understanding i've given myself in my world of self-doubt.
but yes, i regret the hurt i accidentally gave.
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More